cassandracomplex80

"If you can't make it good- make it big. If you can't make it big- make it red." me- i'm working on something big and red right now.

I had a dream about gracie last night. That she told me that I can join the side show- but that I had to wear a frog costume- which looked exactly like a bear costume- except green.  It zipped up in the front and the head was huge and heavy.  Making it hard for me to keep my balance.  Because when I say 'heavy' I'm talking forty, maybe forty-five pounds.  She tells me- that i can't wear my clothes under the outfit, that i have to be naked inside the costume.  I say- 'absolutely not- i'm not getting naked inside some skanky ol' green bear suit'.       She gets so mad at me that she turns into a peach.  A regular size peach.  I eat the peach.

after  the funeral. crawled into bed with 2 blankets- one over me and one under. I sleep on a blanket, not a sheet.   I hate sheets.  I love blankets.  Expected I'd have myself a nice long hard cry, all curled up in a ball.   instead  just laid there on my back- looking up at all the  album covers I've stabled to my ceiling-- Years have passed- just like this. People seem to like the idea of their dead love ones- looking down on them, watching  over them.  They find comfort in the idea of it.  That they're always with them.  I think it's creepy.  I'm not comforted by it at all.  I'd rather not have an audience, no matter how small.  I don'